Darren “stop f******* around, Levy” Bent reckons Harry Kane might not have gone about things the right way, while there’s open revolt at Manchester United and more URL-based japery in Liverpool…

Get Bent
Jack Grealish’s turn in the spotlight this morning, but Harry Kane’s ever more tedious and farcical bid to extricate himself from Tottenham still hoovers up plenty of column inches.

The Sun turn to a man who knows a thing or two about the frustrations of trying to get out of Daniel Levy’s clutches, and Darren Bent (for it is he) isn’t too impressed with Kane’s approach.

He is under contract and he should act in the right way in terms of showing up,” says Bent. “I 100 per cent understand his frustration. He wants to move, he’s made it abundantly clear he wants to leave, but I think there’s a right way to go about things.”

That “right way to go about things” presumably doesn’t include taking to Twitter as Bent himself did to help get that Sunderland move all those years ago.

“Seriously getting p***** off now,” was the first message, followed by “Why can’t anything be simple. It’s so frustrating hanging round doing jack s***.

“Do I wanna go Hull City NO. Do I wanna go stoke NO do I wanna go sunderland YES so stop f****** around, Levy. Sunderland are not the problem in the slightest.”


Revolting times
Manchester United have had a pretty decent transfer window thus far, you’d think. But with new arrivals come unhappy incumbents and according to perennial Mediawatch favourite Jake Polden in the Mirror Ole Gunnar Solskjaer is now facing a “minor revolt” with a whole four players “banging down his door looking for first-team football this season”.

Players hoping they will get to play for Manchester United doesn’t sound like too much of a revolt, but let’s see who these four revolutionaries are.

First up is a furious Eric Bailly: “Competition is always good to improve.

“I just say that I want to stay in case I get the chance to play. I don’t want to be a starter one game and a substitute for another five.

“If that happens I will have to look for another solution.

“The new contract is fine but if I don’t play I will be open to listening to other proposals.”

Okay, maybe not furious. But Ole has three others “banging down his door” remember. Next up is Andreas Pereira: “I’m ready to play, I’m not a boy anymore. I’m a man ready to take responsibility. In Manchester or elsewhere, the time has come to play, to have at least an hour per game on the field, to have the confidence to play. I want to be happy, to feel important.”

Again, a fringe player who would like to play football, ideally for Manchester United but if not then somewhere else. But the fury must be coming soon.

Here comes Diogo Dalot: “I want to keep playing, I want to keep giving everything I have and improve. I know last season was fantastic but I can do even more.”

Oh. But wait, there was four, wasn’t there? Who could the fourth furious United star be?

“Lingard is yet to speak to the press, but he made it clear upon leaving West Ham, following a very successful six-month loan spell in east London, that he wants first-team football back at Old Trafford.”

For fu… In Polden’s defence, he did say “minor revolt”.

Bapp to the Future
There’s a valid if slightly oversold premise to the Mirror’s feature about the potential for next summer’s transfer window to be a doozy with the likes of Paul Pogba, Kylian Mbappe, Cristiano Ronaldo, Pedri, Leon Goretzka, Eduardo Camavinga and Lorenzo Insigne being available on free transfers and Erling Haaland’s release clause in play. It’s tenuous, but lord knows we’ve come up with worse.

We’d slightly question the claim that this summer’s window has “yet to catch fire” given that Manchester City are apparently hours away from signing one England star for a nine-figure fee and are still quite keen on adding another, while Manchester United have already done some enormously eye-catching work, Spurs have embarked on their own long-needed painful rebuild and Chelsea might be bringing back Romelu Lukaku. There is quite a bit of transfer stuff going on right now, without worrying too much about what next summer might bring.

But it’s a harmless enough feature, and makes some perfectly valid points in a climate where most clubs in most countries are having to tighten their belts even as the Premier League ploughs relentlessly on spending cash from the magic money tree.

Can’t shake the notion that the whole thing was just a fairly flimsy excuse to have a URL with the slug “liverpool-fc-transfers-mbappe-haaland” in it, though.

Echo of glory
Tough times for the Liverpool Echo at the moment, with Manchester, London and even Birmingham very much the current epicentres for the transfer-based bumgravy that sustains football during these empty eons between seasons.

But that doesn’t mean that you can’t make Manchester City’s potential acquisitions of Kane and Grealish all about Liverpool by talking about how it emphasises the “different stratosphere” the two clubs operate in when it comes to transfers. Now it’s not without merit – and while it doesn’t really concern Liverpool there is certainly something to be said about the uneasy feeling of City spending nine-figure sums to prise two hometown heroes from their clubs at a time when most of the football pyramid is on the bones of its arse.

Yet bemoaning Pep Guardiola for “claiming poverty” when saying earlier in the summer he wouldn’t spend £100m on a striker in a column suggesting that a club that very famously and very successfully spent £75m on a defender and £68m on a goalkeeper in successive windows are deserving of any sympathy in this at all is a bit rich.

And once again, got to love the URL action. Let’s play a fun game. You’ve all been reading Mediawatch for long enough now. You know how this works. Have a go at guessing the slug and see how close you get. Answer at the bottom of the page…

Who runs the world
Let’s all sit back and watch this not become in any way a giant toxic mess.

Fun quiz answer: “jack-grealish-liverpool-transfer-fsg”

You all got it pretty much right, didn’t you?

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